Shortcut Homemade Twinkie Copycats

I couldn’t face producing three batches of Twinkies from scratch for Jesse’s work this week. So I didn’t. Instead, I tweaked Todd Wilber’s pound cake mix version into something more Twinkie-like. What's neat about Todd's version is he made his copycats without a cream canoe pan by wrapping foil around spice jars to created molds. If I didn’t have the pan already, I’d have done things his way.

There were a couple problems with Todd’s recipe. I’m not sure if they’re because I used a nonstick pan instead of foil, but they needed a roll in simple syrup. Without it they weren’t really Twinkies, just pound cakes with filling and strange crusty outsides. I adjusted the cooking time as well, but that’s probably just a difference in baking methods. If you use the foil method they’ll take longer to bake.

If you’re not into shortcut baking, Leslie Bilderback made a fantastic, but complicated Twinkie recipe from scratch. It might be fun to tackle if you have the spare time, or are making just a single batch.

I think sometimes a shortcut is perfectly fine though. Especially for something fun like this. Overall, these little cakes are pretty darn Twinkie-like, not too difficult, and have that cool novelty of being baked at home. I'll be making these again.

Shortcut Homemade Twinkies
Simple Syrup
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water

Boil together in a small pot with a lid. Once mixture comes to a boil remove the lid and cook for three more minutes to ensure the sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat and set aside.

Cakes
Crisco for greasing
4 egg whites
1 16-oz box of golden pound cake mix
2/3 cup of water

Pre-heat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a cream canoe pan with Crisco. (Butter doesn’t work as well here).

Beat the egg whites until stiff but not a solid mass. In a separate bowl combine the cake mix with water and beat until blended. Then, fold egg whites into the cake with a spatula then beat it with the hand mixer at the end until just combined.

Fill the molds half full of batter. Bake for around 22 to 23 minutes, or until the cakes are lightly golden brown around the edges (but light on top) and a toothpick comes out clean.

Run a toothpick around the cakes to loosen the sides. Dump the hot cakes onto parchment paper. Turn cakes upside down so the bottoms are now on top. Place some of the simple syrup into a wide shallow bowl and immediately roll the tops, sides, and ends of hot Twinkies in the syrup. Try not to get syrup on the bottoms. Fill with cream filling, below.

Repeat the process for second set of cakes. Be sure to grease the pan again.

Cream Filling
2 teaspoons very hot water
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups marshmallow cream (or one 7 oz jar)
1/2 cup shortening
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 chopstick

To do the cream filling, first mix the salt into the bowl of hot water, and mix until the salt is dissolved. Let it cool.

Combine the marshmallow cream, shortening, powdered sugar, and vanilla in a bowl and mix, preferably with an electric mixer or stand mixer on high, until fluffy.

Now pour the salt-water solution in and mix.

When the cakes are mainly cool, poke a hole into the bottom in three places like a Twinkie with a narrow ended chopstick. Move the chopstick around inside to make some room for filling. Then stick a pastry bag into the holes and press gently to fill.

Storing “Twinkies”
Store in a wax paper lined covered container for a few hours before serving. Twinkies need time for their outsides to get soft. Twinkies also freeze quite well after filling.

Makes 16 Twinkie Copycats.

Adapted from Todd Wilber from Top Secret Recipes. Picture by Laura Flowers.

Green Chile Cheeseburger French Fry Casserole

Ooo I’m feeling a little ashamed of myself here. I know I shouldn’t have, but I really enjoyed (inhaled) this super unhealthy amazing tasting spicy casserole. Why do such unhealthy foods have to taste so darn good?

It’s so simple too. I just don’t want to know the calorie count. If you find out, please don’t tell me!

Ingredients
1 ½ pounds extra lean ground beef
½ an onion, diced
¼ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon fresh ground pepper
1 (7 ounce) can diced mild green chiles
1 (15 ounce) can Garacias Nacho Cheese Mexican Cheese Sauce, medium or mild (I used medium)
1 heaping cup shredded chipotle cheddar cheese, or cheddar cheese of your choice
1 pound Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Fast Food Fries
A sprinkle of salt for fries

Instructions
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Get out a 9x13 inch Pyrex pan and a large skillet.

2. Cook the ground beef, onions, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and fresh ground pepper together over medium high heat until no longer pink, Strain off the fat and place the meat mixture back in the pan.

3. Add the chiles and nacho cheese sauce to the pan and stir into the meat. Cook for about four minutes on medium low until combined and warmed through.

4. Pour the meat mixture into the 9x13 inch pan. Spread out and top with shredded cheddar. Top with frozen fries and sprinkle lightly with salt.

5. Bake for 30 minutes.

Recipe by Laura Flowers

The Case of the Missing Meatloaf, Its 1950s Replacement, and a Goat

I lost my meatloaf last week and can’t find it anywhere. How does one lose a meatloaf? I thought I placed the leftovers in a small container. Did I actually do this? Am I going crazy? No one claims to have touched it, and Rocky the Dogapotamus is much too short to reach the counter, and hasn’t yet figured out how to open the refrigerator.

This has left me particularly on edge and paranoid. My running shoes went missing too, but then I remembered tripping over them in the middle of the night on my way to the bathroom. I’ve lost my keys as usual, but they somehow turned up as well. So where is this missing meatloaf? Even the container is gone.

I think I’m losing my mind.

Anyway, I decided to replace the missing meatloaf with a recipe out of the 1950s The Family Home Cookbook I purchased from Evalois, a woman in Lewiston, Idaho who's purging her life-long cookbook collection.

When I open this book I can’t help myself, I start to laugh and can’t stop. Every savory recipe in this nutty text is seasoned with enough salt to make your eyes twitch, and don’t forget the Accent! Accent is a seasoning product consisting of MSG and a few specks of spices. No wonder everyone who lived through the 1950s has such fond food memories. I would too if everything I ate had MSG in it, including the water for all those boiled vegetables. Of course I would have also had a killer headache.

I wonder if enough people smoked that they could no longer taste food without the excess salt saturation. Or maybe people were accustomed to more salt back then, and our food today is too bland. Or just maybe we spice our food today instead of salting it to the hilt all the time. Who knows, I’m just guessing here, but I can see why physicians used to tell their patients to cut back on the salt!

I’ve copied the recipe for you in its original form, including the bold of the ingredient list and their spacing. I left notes in parentheses the way I made it, but feel free to follow the original recipe. Just don’t complain I didn’t warn you.

I’m still missing my meatloaf. I’m afraid that I’m going to find it in a cupboard five years from now. I wonder if one can smell rotting meatloaf through an airtight plastic container.

This might be further proof I’m going nuts, or perhaps it might prove I’m not as crazy as I think I am. Driving down a main street in the city of Clarkston, Washington last week I spotted a man walking his goat on a leash. I thought I must have been seeing things, and decided to turn around and stop my car.

Whew, I wasn’t seeing things. This guy was taking Scooby Doo the Goat, his beloved potty trained house pet for a walk. All I had on me was my lame camera phone, but I had to grab a shot anyway. I didn't catch the man’s name, but he looks identical to the "Miner 49er" from the old Scooby Doo cartoon. So Miner 49er he is.

Miner 49er asked me not to call Scooby a goat, as he believes himself to be a dog. And you thought I was crazy? Although I admit, a pet goat might be a lot of fun to walk down a city street.

Meat Muffins
(Heh. I like the words, "meat muffins".)

Grease twelve 2 1/2–in. muffin-pan wells. (These grease grenades do fine in a nonstick pan without any extra grease)

Combine and mix lightly
1 ¼ lbs. ground beef
½ lb. ground pork
2 cups (2 slices) soft bread crumbs (Ground up in the food processor for me)
1 cup milk (way too much, I added a ½ cup)
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

and a mixture of
2 teaspoons salt (Holy cow, cut this in half unless you really really like salt)
1 teaspoon accent (Does this really need an MSG bomb on top of too much salt?)
½ teaspoon thyme
¼ teaspoon pepper

Divide mixture into 12 equal portions. Pack meat mixture lightly into muffin wells.

Bake at 350°F about 40 min.

Meanwhile, blend together and set aside
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup ketchup

After 20 min. of baking time, spoon about 2 teaspoons ketchup mixture on top of each meat muffin and continue baking. Unmold.

12 Meat Muffins

UNMOLD MEAT LOAVES-With spatula, gently loosen meat from sides of pan. Pour off excess juices; invert onto platter and remove pan. For meat loaves with topping, pour off excess juices and lift loaf onto platter with two wide spatulas.

Recipe from “The Family Home Cookbook” by the Staff Home Economists at the Culinary Arts Institute. Melanie De Proft, Director. Copyright 1956 & 1963. Pictures and write-up by Laura Flowers, cartoon still from Scooby Doo.

Hijacked by Man Food, Dishboy’s Hostile Takeover

So if you haven’t already figured it out, this blog post is not coming to you from Laura. This is Laura’s friend Scott, otherwise known as “the Dishboy”. It is Saturday morning, and I didn’t feel like eating another bowl of cereal, by myself, at my house. So, as Laura was running around, busily preparing to leave town for the weekend, I invited myself over to make breakfast for myself in her kitchen. She said, “sure, come on over” (I think she was just too preoccupied to protest much).

I had a thought in mind as to what I might like, and upon questioning, it turns out that she had all the ingredients (except the one “secret ingredient” that really makes this sandwich) that needed to be used up anyway, as she was going out of town. Knowing that I abhor the thought of food (of all things) going to waste, I figured that I’d do her the favor of hijacking her kitchen, and using her stove/equipment/dishes to MAKE SURE that food didn’t end up getting thrown out. I’m sure that she appreciated that…as no one wants to live with wasted food weighing on their conscience, right?

So, I went to my freezer and got out a couple of frozen hash brown patties, hopped on my motorcycle and sped over to her house with the patties in the pocket of my coat. Upon arriving, I immediately made myself at home in her kitchen and started to cook. Okay, so it’s time to come out of the closet: Yes, ladies, I’m more than just a pretty face standing at the dish sink…I can cook too! (Although I try not to let that secret get out as then people won’t have as much sympathy for the “poor single guy” and invite me to dinner)

I’ve been making these occasionally for a few years now, and they are commonly referred to as “bagel sandwiches” at my house. You can vary your gastronomic experience by changing the meats in the sandwiches to suit your taste and what you happen to have on hand. At my house, I usually have some kind of sliced ham lunch meat on hand, and I like the contrasting taste of a good quality sliced roast beef from the supermarket deli counter. These particular sandwiches were made with Laura’s bacon left over from pizza night and the expensive sliced deli chicken she feeds to her dog (yeah, I know…it’s a long story). I’ve also previously used, with success, things like: Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage, Canadian bacon, etc. However, to be authentic, you should always use two different meats, sliced American Cheese, and definitely frozen hash brown patties. (Yes, I also know that American Cheese barely qualifies as “cheese”. I’m a GREAT LOVER of cheese, but these sandwiches just seem “right” with American.)

You should have seen Laura’s face when she came into the kitchen and got her first glimpse of this monstrosity. Once she stopped laughing, of course she had to take a picture! I decided that since I’d hijacked her kitchen this morning, I may as well hijack her blog for the day as well. The picture you see is the result of my creation. These are not for the faint at heart! The calorie load on one of these things weighs in at a whopping 1186 calories, so warning: you may not be hungry for lunch. I hope you enjoy them.

Ingredients
1 bagel
2 large eggs
3 pieces bacon (or thin breakfast sausage patties)
2 slices deli-counter sliced lunch meat
1 slice American Cheese
1 or 2 pre-prepared frozen hash brown patties

Instructions
1. If you are using uncooked meats (such as breakfast sausage or bacon), you should cook them first, according to your normal practice. Set aside when done.

2. Add approximately 1-2 tablespoons oil to a nonstick skillet, and fry hash brown patties over medium-high heat (or per package instructions).

3. While the hash browns are cooking, I briefly add the pre-cooked style meat(s) to the pan briefly, to sear/brown both sides of the meats (which enhances the flavor). Set these aside after they are browned.

4. As the hash browns near doneness, fry the eggs. I like my fried eggs over hard, with the yolks broken. Do yours however you prefer. If you are making these in small quantities, then I use a single frying pan, and fry these right in the pan next to the hash browns as they finish up. If you do that, it is a good idea to turn down the temperature during this last stage so you don’t overcook the fried eggs. If you are making larger quantities, then you can cook the eggs concurrently in another pan. Optimally, your eggs and hash browns reach doneness at around the same time.

5. Slice and toast your bagel (watch out for nasty cuts while doing this…has everyone sliced the heck out of their hand once while cutting bagels?)

6. Assemble your sandwich. I like to use this order: bagel, egg, hash browns, meats, cheese, and bagel.

7. Add salt/pepper to taste. Note that the pre-prepared hash browns already have quite a bit of salt in them, as do the meats that I generally use. So, consequently, I don’t typically add salt to mine.

Notes
1. These work equally well using only pre-cooked lunch-type meats. If you are not using uncooked meats, you can skip Step #1 above.

2. There is a lot of heat-mass stored in those hash browns. If you’ve been halfway successful at having the bagel come out of the toaster at around the same time the hash browns and eggs finish cooking, your sandwich will be sufficiently hot to melt the cheese and make up for the fact that the meats you cooked at the beginning have cooled significantly. In fact, more than once I’ve bit into one of these and had the burning hot hash browns literally glue themselves to the roof of my mouth using the American Cheese as a type of “hot glue”. Its not fun…watch out.


We now return you to your regularly scheduled food blog…

Spaghetti All’Ubriaco (Drunken Spaghetti)

Curiosity drove me to this recipe from Babbo pastry chef Gina DePalma. It was on the top of http://www.seriouseats.com/ for several days before I caved and cooked up this purple hued pasta. There were some very excited reactions about this dish, maybe due to the splurge of two bottles of wine needed just to boil the pasta! Whatever it is, this dish is quite simple, but elegant too.

Ingredients
2 quarts water

2 quarts inexpensive (but tasty and drinkable) red wine, plus ½ cup for the pan (2 bottles)
1 lb. thick spaghetti or linguine
2 fat cloves of garlic, or four small cloves
2 tablespoons butter, salted or unsalted
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Peperoncino, or dried red pepper flakes to taste, optional (I used 1 teaspoon)
1/4 cup chopped, flat-leaf Italian parsley (I used 2 Tablespoons dried)
Pecorino Romano or Parmigiano-Reggiano (I shaved it over the top)

Procedure
1. Add the water and red wine to a 6-quart stock pot and place it over medium-high heat. Season the liquid generously with kosher salt and cover the pot to bring it to a boil.

2. In the meantime, peel the garlic and slice it. Place the butter and olive oil in a sauté pan large enough to fit the pasta and place it over low heat to slowly melt the butter.

3. When the water and wine come to a boil, add your spaghetti; stirring as needed to engulf the pasta in the liquid. As the spaghetti cooks, stir it often to prevent it from sticking.

4. Add the garlic to the pan and wait for it to come to a sizzle. Add the optional peperoncino for some heat, if you like and stir the garlic, keeping the heat low to prevent it from scorching.

5. When the garlic is toasted pale and sizzling, add the additional ½ cup of red wine and a generous splash of the pasta cooking water to the pan and turn up the heat until the liquid simmers.

6. Test the spaghetti for doneness; when it is al dente, transfer it to the sauté pan along with the parsley. Keep cooking the spaghetti in the juices, tossing and shaking the pan until the liquid is absorbed.

7. Serve immediately on warm plates. The pasta is delicious without grated cheese, but you can grate a bit of Pecorino Romano or Parmigiano-Reggiano over the top if you like.

Serves 4

Notes: Next time I'll throw in some grilled vegetables.

Recipe belongs to Babbo pastry chef Gina DePalma. Picture and write-up by Laura Flowers.