Happy with my haul I head back to Otto the Travel Box, make a quick breakfast, grab my book, and carry everything out to the campsite picnic table. I take a couple bites, begin to read about wild food in Idaho, and strangely an immature pinecone lands beside my plate. This happens again, and again, and pinecones start to rain down faster and harder. Angry chattering begins to accompany the barrage of pinecones, and a little territorial grey squirrel shows himself just long enough to scold me. He then races from branch to branch pummeling me with these spiky weapons. A territorial war has been declared.
I start to chatter back, which makes him so angry he races faster to gather and chuck pinecones at my head. I try to take a bite of my food, and wham! another pinecone hits my plate! Pine needles are everywhere, and my food looks like a forest floor. I chatter back and yell at him to stop, this simply eggs him on. I start throwing his pine cones back, but my aim is so bad he gets even more fired up. Finally, I wave a proverbial white flag and run for the motor home. So much for breakfast outside!
After finally eating, I poke my head out the door, stretching my neck to see if the coast is clear. Instead, I spot the enemy. All grey furry eight inches of him, standing on his back legs about four feet from Otto, with the most disgusted facial expression I’ve ever seen on an animal. I can see him thinking, ‘How the hell am I going to get this big piece of crap outta my yard!?”
At this point I start to laugh, I laugh so hard I can’t breathe, and I’m sure the other campers must think I’m crazy by now. The grey squirrel on the other hand gives me a look of loathing, and marches off to see what damage I’ve done to his picnic area.
Once he leaves, I quickly collect the pinecone bombs for a quick count and picture. Sixty-one pinecones chucked at my person. This is one squirrel not to be messed with.
I pack up and head out soon after; much to the relief of the enemy I’m certain.
Classic Scones, Not To Be Eaten with Angry Squirrels
Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees
1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour
2 ¼ teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar (for sweeter scones add ¼ cup sugar)
½ teaspoon salt
Cut in with fork until pea sized pieces of butter:
¼ cup (1/2 stick) cold butter cut into pieces
Beat in a small bowl:
2 large eggs (Reserve 2 tablespoons of the beaten eggs) and add to mixture.
Beat in until just combined:
1/3 cup heavy cream
Flour surface, dump out the dough, flour top of dough. Kneed a few times and press pieces of dough into scone pan or scoop out with an ice cream scoop and drop onto a cookie sheet. Brush with reserved egg and sprinkle with sugar (I used coarse sugar). Bake for about 15 minutes.
1. I do all this in a food processor. If you want to do this, add the ingredients in the order of the above directions and be careful not to over-process.
2. If you use a mini scone pan leave 5 spaces empty and bake for 12-13 minutes.
Scone recipe from "The Joy of Cooking", pictures by Laura Flowers.